Once upon a time, I was a fan of Taco Bell. When I was in Jr. High school, the only taco bell around here was at the mall. Every now and then my friends and I would take the bus to the mall, do a little shopping and then head for the food court for some fine dining. I remember how I thought Taco Bell's soft shell Taco Supremes were the SHIZNIT!!! Either I had a steel drum for a belly or they have seriously changed the way they make their crappy food. Probably both.
I will share a very quick, very personal, very embarrassing story with all of you now. About 4 years ago, the hubby and I were going food shopping. We were a little hungry and decided we should grab something quick to eat on the way, you know, so we wouldn't be food shopping hungry, that's a big no-no. So he got Burger King and I got a Chicken Baja Chalupa from Taco Bell. We ate our food in the car and then headed into the grocery store. About 15 minutes into out shopping excursion, I started getting a bad case of the bubble guts. I wasn't sure what was going on in my belly. I felt like I had to pass gas, but was afraid that I may just shart my pants. haha! No seriously. So of course the hubby is laughing at me, which makes me giggle which is dangerous in a situation like this. By the time we got over to the frozen food section, I was pretty sure I was going to have to abandon my whole cart of food and run for the bathroom. We timed our check out perfect and was able to get out of there in record time. On the drive home, we made a plan. I would sit in the car while Hubby unlocked and opened all of the doors, he would then hold open the screen door so I could just bolt in to the house and take care of business. Sorry if this disgusts anyone, but get over it...everyone poops, ha! I have not eaten at Taco Bell since that day and I changed their slogan from, "Run for the Border" to "Run for the Bathroom". Hubby and I still crack up whenever this day comes to mind and whenever we see a commercial for Taco Bell. What did I learn that day?? Something is not right with their food or at least it no longer agrees with me.
I saw a commercial the other day for their new tacos that are in a shell made of frigging Doritos; the Doritos Locos Taco. ARE YOU SHITTING ME??!! Pun intended! That doesn't even sound appetizing whatsoever. I don't understand the need for all of the ridiculous gimmicks and disgusting food experiments. The most delicious tacos and burritos I have ever had had all natural REAL ingredients in them and they definitely were not served up in some nasty fake cheese, finger staining taco shell. To each his own, but best believe I will never experience the shit show known as the Doritos Locos Taco.
And now I leave you with one of my all time favorite SNL commercial parodies, Taco Town. I'm pretty sure this is what Taco Bell is aspiring to achieve.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Operation Pretty Pits - You down wit' OPP?
I have been totally (unintentionally) avoiding my blog. Sorry people. I probably lost the few followers that I had. Hope not.
I've been pretty busy over the past month. I started the "Couch to 2K" program. I haven't actually completed day 1 yet...but I have added more time onto my run every day that I try, which is definite progress that I am very proud of. What else?? I went to Florida to visit my mom and some friends. Just me and my 3 year old. We had a good time :) And being solely responsible for him for a whole 8 days made me realize even further how much I love my hubby and all that he does. And hats off to single parents everywhere, it is hard!!
What else what else??... oh, I paid off two of my three credit cards. It hurt to fork over that money from my tax refund but now I feel good about it!
Oh yeah! One of my besties is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid! That is super exciting!!! I've never been in a wedding before and I'm not exactly sure what my duties are. I need to google that ASAP. They are having an outdoor summer wedding. She and her hubby-to-be are both into the water and boating and he loves fishing. So after they say their vows they are going to take a boat ride around the island and when they come back all of us bridesmaids will be holding fishing rods forming an arch for them to walk under. How frigging cute is that!!??!! Here is my dilemma... I have black pits from hell! haha! Seriously.
We are all picking out our own dresses, no matchy match stuff going on so I can buy whatever I want to wear. It will be very hot as it will be the height of summer. So I would like to wear something that I am comfortable in (heat wise)...but I also want to look cute and black pits are NOT cute. If anyone is not clear what I am talking about when I say black pits, I am referring to my underarms. After almost 30 years of shaving and wearing deodorants that contain aluminum my underarms are much darker than the rest of my skin. I spent a good part of Saturday evening on youtube. Just for shits and giggles I typed "black armpits" into the search box and too my delight there were quite a few videos talking about this very issue. I don't know for sure if I was more delighted that other women have been cursed with this horrible affliction or that there are some promising remedies for the problem. I think it was a little of both, muahahaha! WHAT? Why should I be the only one with hideous Abyss Pits?!
There are bleaching creams and one in particular (Xtreme Brite) that has shown to work wonders on hell pits. Let me state right here right now that I love my caramel complexion and would never change it. I love what my parents created and no matter what color my skin color might have been I would be proud of it. I think that all shades of skin are beautiful no matter their coloring from the fairest porcelain to the deepest shades of brown. I do not believe in bleaching your skin in order to obtain an overall lighter skin shade. I find that quite sad. Now, having said that...Let the skin bleaching commence!!!! haha! I am only wanting to lighten my armpits. They have been the one area of my body that I have been extremely self conscience about since about 6th grade. I avoid raising my arms in public in the summer time...at all cost. As a kid, I remember raising my hand in class and covering my pit with my other hand if I was wearing short sleeves, haha! Pathetic. I know that I am clean but the appearance of my pits begs to differ. I fear that people may think I am dirty because of my FUGLY underarms.
So where was I?? Ah yes, Xtreme Brite. I watched several videos on Youtube showing different women with dark underarms and they successfully lightened them using this product. You just apply the gel a couple times a day and typically over the course of a couple months you see results. But it seemed to me that it could get expensive. Ladies are saying that they are going through a $10.00-15.00 tube every couple weeks. On average, 2-3 months seems to be the amount of "treatment" that is needed to achieve goal lightening. So I am looking at anywhere from as low as $40.00 to as high as $90.00 to lighten them. That does not appeal to me. The cost is a turn off along with having to order it on Amazon or directly through their site, which obviously involves waiting for it to be delivered. And also wanting to avoid using chemicals, I figured I would do some research and find a home remedy for my tar pits.
My research taught me that just washing your underarms in the shower does not remove all of the bacteria on your skin, so swabbing them with a cotton ball soaked in Apple Cider Vinegar will help to remove all bacteria. I already knew that lemon is a mild all natural bleaching agent. But I also found that potatoes and papaya are as well. I did not have any papayas in the house but I did have a bag of potatoes and half of a lemon. Using my blender, I made a paste out of the potato and the little bit of juice I was able to squeeze out of the lemon. I put the potato/lemon puree into a plastic container. I then swabbed my freshly shaved armpits with apple cider vinegar! FARDKING OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to go ahead and say, don't do this right after shaving. After blowing on pits for a couple minutes and cooling the burning sensation down a tad, I then grabbed a small handful of potato/lemon puree and rubbed it on my pits. I read to let it sit for approximately 15-20 minutes... I had a child with the flu. She went into the bathroom about 10 minutes into my "treatment" and she stayed in there for about 30 minutes. So do the math, it sat on my underarms for 40 minutes. I wasn't worried, I just figured that I was doing an extreme beginner treatment. I got in the shower and washed it off. I felt a bit tingly and raw. I checked them out in the mirror when I got out and they were definitely a different color...PINK! But still black. I know that it will take months of treatment for them to lighten. Oh yeah I almost forgot! I wanted to avoid using my trusty Arm & Hammer ladies deodorant as it contains aluminum and is probably contributing to my horrible situation. So I went for the box of baking soda in the kitchen and applied some. I am a pretty funky sweater and I sweat pretty profusely without my deodorant. I did the baking soda as antiperspirant for two days. I'm going to be totally honest, people. I think my au natural approach to lighter pits is over! haha! So not only did I have painfully raw underarms but I was also a bit tart. And that does not work for me. Guess who will be purchasing her first tube of Xtreme Brite this week?! YUP, ME. I'll let everyone know how that works for me. I have about 4 months to get my fugly pits in summer dress, pit exposing condition.
Operation Pretty Pits!! You down wit' OPP? Yeah, you know me!
I've been pretty busy over the past month. I started the "Couch to 2K" program. I haven't actually completed day 1 yet...but I have added more time onto my run every day that I try, which is definite progress that I am very proud of. What else?? I went to Florida to visit my mom and some friends. Just me and my 3 year old. We had a good time :) And being solely responsible for him for a whole 8 days made me realize even further how much I love my hubby and all that he does. And hats off to single parents everywhere, it is hard!!
What else what else??... oh, I paid off two of my three credit cards. It hurt to fork over that money from my tax refund but now I feel good about it!
Oh yeah! One of my besties is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid! That is super exciting!!! I've never been in a wedding before and I'm not exactly sure what my duties are. I need to google that ASAP. They are having an outdoor summer wedding. She and her hubby-to-be are both into the water and boating and he loves fishing. So after they say their vows they are going to take a boat ride around the island and when they come back all of us bridesmaids will be holding fishing rods forming an arch for them to walk under. How frigging cute is that!!??!! Here is my dilemma... I have black pits from hell! haha! Seriously.
We are all picking out our own dresses, no matchy match stuff going on so I can buy whatever I want to wear. It will be very hot as it will be the height of summer. So I would like to wear something that I am comfortable in (heat wise)...but I also want to look cute and black pits are NOT cute. If anyone is not clear what I am talking about when I say black pits, I am referring to my underarms. After almost 30 years of shaving and wearing deodorants that contain aluminum my underarms are much darker than the rest of my skin. I spent a good part of Saturday evening on youtube. Just for shits and giggles I typed "black armpits" into the search box and too my delight there were quite a few videos talking about this very issue. I don't know for sure if I was more delighted that other women have been cursed with this horrible affliction or that there are some promising remedies for the problem. I think it was a little of both, muahahaha! WHAT? Why should I be the only one with hideous Abyss Pits?!
There are bleaching creams and one in particular (Xtreme Brite) that has shown to work wonders on hell pits. Let me state right here right now that I love my caramel complexion and would never change it. I love what my parents created and no matter what color my skin color might have been I would be proud of it. I think that all shades of skin are beautiful no matter their coloring from the fairest porcelain to the deepest shades of brown. I do not believe in bleaching your skin in order to obtain an overall lighter skin shade. I find that quite sad. Now, having said that...Let the skin bleaching commence!!!! haha! I am only wanting to lighten my armpits. They have been the one area of my body that I have been extremely self conscience about since about 6th grade. I avoid raising my arms in public in the summer time...at all cost. As a kid, I remember raising my hand in class and covering my pit with my other hand if I was wearing short sleeves, haha! Pathetic. I know that I am clean but the appearance of my pits begs to differ. I fear that people may think I am dirty because of my FUGLY underarms.
So where was I?? Ah yes, Xtreme Brite. I watched several videos on Youtube showing different women with dark underarms and they successfully lightened them using this product. You just apply the gel a couple times a day and typically over the course of a couple months you see results. But it seemed to me that it could get expensive. Ladies are saying that they are going through a $10.00-15.00 tube every couple weeks. On average, 2-3 months seems to be the amount of "treatment" that is needed to achieve goal lightening. So I am looking at anywhere from as low as $40.00 to as high as $90.00 to lighten them. That does not appeal to me. The cost is a turn off along with having to order it on Amazon or directly through their site, which obviously involves waiting for it to be delivered. And also wanting to avoid using chemicals, I figured I would do some research and find a home remedy for my tar pits.
My research taught me that just washing your underarms in the shower does not remove all of the bacteria on your skin, so swabbing them with a cotton ball soaked in Apple Cider Vinegar will help to remove all bacteria. I already knew that lemon is a mild all natural bleaching agent. But I also found that potatoes and papaya are as well. I did not have any papayas in the house but I did have a bag of potatoes and half of a lemon. Using my blender, I made a paste out of the potato and the little bit of juice I was able to squeeze out of the lemon. I put the potato/lemon puree into a plastic container. I then swabbed my freshly shaved armpits with apple cider vinegar! FARDKING OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to go ahead and say, don't do this right after shaving. After blowing on pits for a couple minutes and cooling the burning sensation down a tad, I then grabbed a small handful of potato/lemon puree and rubbed it on my pits. I read to let it sit for approximately 15-20 minutes... I had a child with the flu. She went into the bathroom about 10 minutes into my "treatment" and she stayed in there for about 30 minutes. So do the math, it sat on my underarms for 40 minutes. I wasn't worried, I just figured that I was doing an extreme beginner treatment. I got in the shower and washed it off. I felt a bit tingly and raw. I checked them out in the mirror when I got out and they were definitely a different color...PINK! But still black. I know that it will take months of treatment for them to lighten. Oh yeah I almost forgot! I wanted to avoid using my trusty Arm & Hammer ladies deodorant as it contains aluminum and is probably contributing to my horrible situation. So I went for the box of baking soda in the kitchen and applied some. I am a pretty funky sweater and I sweat pretty profusely without my deodorant. I did the baking soda as antiperspirant for two days. I'm going to be totally honest, people. I think my au natural approach to lighter pits is over! haha! So not only did I have painfully raw underarms but I was also a bit tart. And that does not work for me. Guess who will be purchasing her first tube of Xtreme Brite this week?! YUP, ME. I'll let everyone know how that works for me. I have about 4 months to get my fugly pits in summer dress, pit exposing condition.
Operation Pretty Pits!! You down wit' OPP? Yeah, you know me!
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