Tuesday, February 28, 2012


Once upon a time, I was a fan of Taco Bell.  When I was in Jr. High school, the only taco bell around here was at the mall.  Every now and then my friends and I would take the bus to the mall, do a little shopping and then head for the food court for some fine dining.  I remember how I thought Taco Bell's soft shell Taco Supremes were the SHIZNIT!!!  Either I had a steel drum for a belly or they have seriously changed the way they make their crappy food.  Probably both.

I will share a very quick, very personal, very embarrassing story with all of you now.  About 4 years ago, the hubby and I were going food shopping.  We were a little hungry and decided we should grab something quick to eat on the way, you know, so we wouldn't be food shopping hungry, that's a big no-no.   So he got Burger King and I got a Chicken Baja Chalupa from Taco Bell.  We ate our food in the car and then headed into the grocery store.  About 15 minutes into out shopping excursion, I started getting a bad case of the bubble guts.  I wasn't sure what was going on in my belly.  I felt like I had to pass gas, but was afraid that I may just shart my pants.  haha!  No seriously.  So of course the hubby is laughing at me, which makes me giggle which is dangerous in a situation like this.  By the time we got over to the frozen food section, I was pretty sure I was going to have to abandon my whole cart of food and run for the bathroom.  We timed our check out perfect and was able to get out of there in record time.  On the drive home, we made a plan.  I would sit in the car while Hubby unlocked and opened all of the doors, he would then hold open the screen door so I could just bolt in to the house and take care of business.  Sorry if this disgusts anyone, but get over it...everyone poops, ha!  I have not eaten at Taco Bell since that day and I changed their slogan from, "Run for the Border" to "Run for the Bathroom".  Hubby and I still crack up whenever this day comes to mind and whenever we see a commercial for Taco Bell.  What did I learn that day??  Something is not right with their food or at least it no longer agrees with me.

I saw a commercial the other day for their new tacos that are in a shell made of frigging Doritos; the Doritos Locos Taco.  ARE YOU SHITTING ME??!!  Pun intended!  That doesn't even sound appetizing whatsoever.  I don't understand the need for all of the ridiculous gimmicks and disgusting food experiments.  The most delicious tacos and burritos I have ever had had all natural REAL ingredients in them and they definitely were not served up in some nasty fake cheese, finger staining taco shell.  To each his own, but best believe I will never experience the shit show known as the Doritos Locos Taco.

And now I leave you with one of my all time favorite SNL commercial parodies, Taco Town.  I'm pretty sure this is what Taco Bell is aspiring to achieve.

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