Operation Pretty Pits - You down wit' OPP?

I have been totally (unintentionally) avoiding my blog.  Sorry people.  I probably lost the few followers that I had.  Hope not.

I've been pretty busy over the past month.  I started the "Couch to 2K" program.  I haven't actually completed day 1 yet...but I have added more time onto my run every day that I try, which is definite progress that I am very proud of.  What else??  I went to Florida to visit my mom and some friends.  Just me and my 3 year old.  We had a good time :)  And being solely responsible for him for a whole 8 days made me realize even further how much I love my hubby and all that he does.  And hats off to single parents everywhere, it is hard!!

What else what else??... oh, I paid off two of my three credit cards.  It hurt to fork over that money from my tax refund but now I feel good about it!

Oh yeah!  One of my besties is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid!  That is super exciting!!!  I've never been in a wedding before and I'm not exactly sure what my duties are.  I need to google that ASAP.   They are having an outdoor summer wedding.  She and her hubby-to-be are both into the water and boating and he loves fishing.  So after they say their vows they are going to take a boat ride around the island and when they come back all of us bridesmaids will be holding fishing rods forming an arch for them to walk under.  How frigging cute is that!!??!!  Here is my dilemma... I have black pits from hell!  haha!  Seriously.

We are all picking out our own dresses, no matchy match stuff going on so I can buy whatever I want to wear.  It will be very hot as it will be the height of summer.  So I would like to wear something that I am comfortable in (heat wise)...but I also want to look cute and black pits are NOT cute.  If anyone is not clear what I am talking about when I say black pits, I am referring to my underarms.  After almost 30 years of shaving and wearing deodorants that contain aluminum my underarms are much darker than the rest of my skin.  I spent a good part of Saturday evening on youtube.  Just for shits and giggles I typed "black armpits" into the search box and too my delight there were quite a few videos talking about this very issue.  I don't know for sure if I was more delighted that other women have been cursed with this horrible affliction or that there are some promising remedies for the problem.  I think it was a little of both, muahahaha!  WHAT?  Why should I be the only one with hideous Abyss Pits?!

There are bleaching creams and one in particular (Xtreme Brite) that has shown to work wonders on hell pits.  Let me state right here right now that I love my caramel complexion and would never change it.  I love what my parents created and no matter what color my skin color might have been I would be proud of it.  I think that all shades of skin are beautiful no matter their coloring from the fairest porcelain to the deepest shades of brown.  I do not believe in bleaching your skin in order to obtain an overall lighter skin shade.  I find that quite sad.  Now, having said that...Let the skin bleaching commence!!!!  haha!  I am only wanting to lighten my armpits.  They have been the one area of my body that I have been extremely self conscience about since about 6th grade.  I avoid raising my arms in public in the summer time...at all cost.  As a kid, I remember raising my hand in class and covering my pit with my other hand if I was wearing short sleeves, haha!  Pathetic.  I know that I am clean but the appearance of my pits begs to differ.  I fear that people may think I am dirty because of my FUGLY underarms.

So where was I??  Ah yes, Xtreme Brite.  I watched several videos on Youtube showing different women with dark underarms and they successfully lightened them using this product.  You just apply the gel a couple times a day and typically over the course of a couple months you see results.  But it seemed to me that it could get expensive.  Ladies are saying that they are going through a $10.00-15.00 tube every couple weeks.  On average, 2-3 months seems to be the amount of "treatment" that is needed to achieve goal lightening.  So I am looking at anywhere from as low as $40.00 to as high as $90.00 to lighten them.  That does not appeal to me.  The cost is a turn off along with having to order it on Amazon or directly through their site, which obviously involves waiting for it to be delivered.  And also wanting to avoid using chemicals, I figured I would do some research and find a home remedy for my tar pits.

My research taught me that just washing your underarms in the shower does not remove all of the bacteria on your skin, so swabbing them with a cotton ball soaked in Apple Cider Vinegar will help to remove all bacteria.  I already knew that lemon is a mild all natural bleaching agent.  But I also found that potatoes and papaya are as well.  I did not have any papayas in the house but I did have a bag of potatoes and half of a lemon.  Using my blender, I made a paste out of the potato and the little bit of juice I was able to squeeze out of the lemon.  I put the potato/lemon puree into a plastic container.  I then swabbed my freshly shaved armpits with apple cider vinegar!  FARDKING OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm going to go ahead and say, don't do this right after shaving.  After blowing on pits for a couple minutes and cooling the burning sensation down a tad, I then grabbed a small handful of potato/lemon puree and rubbed it on my pits.  I read to let it sit for approximately 15-20 minutes... I had a child with the flu.  She went into the bathroom about 10 minutes into my "treatment" and she stayed in there for about 30 minutes.  So do the math, it sat on my underarms for 40 minutes.  I wasn't worried, I just figured that I was doing an extreme beginner treatment.  I got in the shower and washed it off.  I felt a bit tingly and raw.  I checked them out in the mirror when I got out and they were definitely a different color...PINK!  But still black.  I know that it will take months of treatment for them to lighten. Oh yeah I almost forgot!  I wanted to avoid using my trusty Arm & Hammer ladies deodorant as it contains aluminum and is probably contributing to my horrible situation.  So I went for the box of baking soda in the kitchen and applied some.  I am a pretty funky sweater and I sweat pretty profusely without my deodorant.  I did the baking soda as antiperspirant for two days.  I'm going to be totally honest, people.  I think my au natural approach to lighter pits is over!  haha!  So not only did I have painfully raw underarms but I was also a bit tart.  And that does not work for me.  Guess who will be purchasing her first tube of Xtreme Brite this week?!  YUP, ME.  I'll let everyone know how that works for me.  I have about 4 months to get my fugly pits in summer dress, pit exposing condition.
Operation Pretty Pits!!  You down wit' OPP?  Yeah, you know me!

Plus Size style tips

Once upon a time, I was a svelte little thing.  I could go into any store and buy any article of clothing off of any rack.  I had no problems finding the latest fashions in my size.  I had the luxury of being picky with my selections.  I knew if one store didn't have something I absolutely loved I could just got to any other store in the mall and they would have something in my size that I adored.  I had a closet jam packed with trendy attire.  I often never wore an outfit more than a couple times a year, simply because I never kept up with laundry.  Even once it got washed, it would sit in laundry baskets in my laundry room - just waiting to be put away.  But it was never an issue, because I would just wear one of my other thousand outfits or just go out and buy myself more!

Well - those days are O-V-E-R!  I am overweight and I am plus size.  BIG MAMMA!  I stay away from the mall these days, because along with my mall rage (yes, that is similar to road rage, just not in a car), there just aren't many options at the mall for big girls.  Macy's, JC Penny, and Filenes all have plus sections, but they are very limited and usually very ugly.  Evidently, they feel that if you are chubby you must want to dress like a grandma.  I personally don't like Lane Bryant.  I mean, when you look at their clothes online and even on the rack, they look fashionable and all, but NOTHING in there fits me.  Maybe I have a weird body, I don't know.  But I've found that Lane Bryant apparently feels that if you are plus size that you must also be pushing 7 feet tall.  Even their "short" jeans are damn near a boob covering unitard on me.  I am on the shorter side at 5'4 - but come on.  They just aren't proportioned right.  The crotch should not be able to be pulled up so high that I can get the waist to rest on my tatas (and not hurt my lady business in the process).  In my early years of being a fatty, I found one pair of jeans at LB that was semi tolerable.  They were too long in the leg, so I had to cut the 6 inches of excess material off, but the crotch to waist ratio was pretty on point.  The main problem that I had with these jeans was that the waist was way too big.  I had to double the waist over in the back and put my belt on extra tight so that the world couldn't see my whole ass crack when ever I bent or sat down.  (Yeah, I'm part of this rare breed of females that doesn't like her ass crack on display, I know I'm weird.)  Anyway, even with these major flaws, these crappy ass jeans became my favorite pair.  How is that possible, you ask??  Well, when you spend hour after aggravating hour stomping around the mall and spending $45.00 for a pair of jeans that you can get over your ass and don't double as a full body denim bra, you just settle.  I believed that this is just how it is for me now that I am heavy.  This is as good as it gets.  For years I felt that way.  Then I gained more weight, one day I was trying to shove myself into my "favorite" jeans and when pulling them up, I used the belt loops for extra tug and I ripped them off!  haha!  These belt loops were essential to these jeans as I needed them to keep my bum from being exposed through the gaping pucker at the waist.  What was I to do?  I went back to LB to try and get my hands on another pair of these "perfect" ill fitting jeans.  After searching all over the store for them, a sales woman tells me that this style of LB jean had been discontinued.  WTF.  My only assumption was that all of the giants wrote and complained to LB that the minuscule crotch to waist ratio was a problem for them and LB complied with their demands and stopped making them.

My desperation led me to Walmart, Target, Marshalls, TJ Maxx and occasionally Old Navy.  Which surprisingly were all more "shorter plus size woman" friendly.  Target is more hit or miss, but I have found a few pairs of work pants there that actually fit me, with no alterations (on clearance at that).  This is when I realized that just because you are plus size that does not mean that your clothing should be ill fitting.  I decided to scour the web and see what I could find online.  I felt this was a risky move because I couldn't try the clothing on beforehand.  But in my experience, most places allow you to return for free if need be.

Levis.com actually has some REALLY good fitting jeans.  I was totally surprised.  A friend had told me about their new line of Curve ID jeans.  I was super excited.  I went on their site and unfortunately after taking their whole "FIND YOUR CURVE" survey, I found that I am considered a "Supreme Curve" but they didn't have those jeans in my size.  GRRRRRRRR. Ho hum... guess I am an Ultra Mega Curvy.  BUT they do have a plus size section and I have purchased a few pairs of jeans that fit GREAT!  I also found a few pairs of these same jeans at AJ Wright when they were going out of business for under $10.00.

DorothyPerkins.com has AWESOME clothes!!  They have all sizes! And pretty much whatever you see in itty bitty sizes they have in plus size as well.  But please be aware, that just because something is made in your size, that does not mean it will look fab on you.  So make sure that you purchase what will compliment your figure. Dorothy Perkins is in the UK, so shipping is a little higher.  But they often have great sales and occasionally offer free shipping to the US.

Torrid.com is another site I like.  I actually have not purchased anything from them, but I often pa-rouse their site and I see that they have a lot of trendy wear to offer plus size ladies.

Eloquii.com is a plus size line put out by the Limited.  I actually just stumbled upon this one today.  I cannot vouch for fit or timely delivery, haha!  But I like a lot of what I see on their site.  I also like that there is a shop by shape option.  You pick your body type and it will show you everything that will compliment your figure.  That is awesome!!

Here are some tips for the plus size woman:

• Wear clothing that accentuates what you love and masks what you don't.
• Avoid overly tight clothing - it is uncomfortable and unattractive.  It puts all of your dents, dimples and rolls on display and makes you look sloppy.
• Avoid overly baggy clothing - it makes you look like you hate being a woman!  It is unattractive and makes you look heavier than you really are.  You have curves, that is a good thing.  Be proud that you are a woman and show off your curves in a classy not trashy way.
• Wear underwear that FIT, people!  We all want to wear the cute little sexy panties, but let's face it, unless you want to be digging them out of your ass - that WILL be eating your undies all day, save those for the bedroom.  
• Get fitted for a bra.  80% of American women wear the wrong size bra.  EIGHTY PERCENT!!   A correctly fitting bra makes a world of difference, not only in the way you feel but in the way you look and carry yourself.  
• Cleavage is nice but c'mon ladies LESS is more!  Cover them bad Larries up a bit unless you want them on and popping for that special occasion or for your significant other.  Do NOT go to work with your ladies on display.  It is not a good look unless of course, you work in an environment where that is how you make your money, well then by all means, set the girls free and invite everyone to gawk
• Accessorize!  Earrings, belts, necklaces, rings, scarves, shoes, boots, purses - you name it.  Accessories should compliment your ensemble, not take it over - so go easy on the number of accessories worn at one time.  Don't go overboard because that will look tacky.  
• Wear one solid color from top to bottom - the effect is very slimming.  Add some color or sparkle with accessories, like a pair of big bold earrings, bracelets and some funky bright colored heels.
• Wear simple patterns.  Think vertical stripes (never horizontal = wide).  
• Do NOT wear animal prints unless on accessories.  Cheetah print clutch, bracelet or pumps, HOT!  Cheetah pants stretched across thunder thighs and lard ass, NOT! 
• Learn what fabrics look nice on you.  Every fabric has a different drape.  I have read some plus size tips from "experts" and they say spandex is a good choice for plus size.  Um...I am no expert, but I will tell you the truth.  DO NOT WEAR ANY DAMN SPANDEX!  Big girls and spandex = a recipe for disaster!
• If you have a bigger belly Do NOT wear low rise jeans, these just give you a very pronounced muffin top.  Try a higher waist jean that will conceal your belly. - Not "MOM jeans" but a mid rise.
• EMPIRE WAIST LINES!!!!!!!!!!!!  In everything!  Dress and tops!  Never fails to create a leaner looking body!!  (see pics below)
• A properly worn belt! (see pics below)
• Most important, take the time to find what fits YOU.  The number on the inside of your pants, dress or shirt doesNOT matter.  You may wear an 16 in one pair of pants and a 20 in another.  It doesn't mean a damn thing.  The fit is what matters.   

This dress is very slimming due to the empire waist, but notice how adding the belt (pic2) creates an even more slimming effect.  It creates the illusion that your waist is much smaller, showing off bust and hips creating a sleeker sexier silhouette.

A belt worn high on an empire waistline will accentuate the bust line and draw the eye away from problem areas like a bigger tummy and hips. Pulling it up higher creates the illusion of a slim waistline which will lend to a nice curvaceous silhouette. Use a belt with an empire waist dress or skirt and shirt or over a tunic.

GET 'ER DONE

Sometimes there are things that need to be done but you just don't do them.  This could be for a number of reasons:

• lazy
• tired
• overwhelmed
• procrastination
• lack of organization
• poor time management

Regardless of the reason, the fact remains that the chores, errands, exercise, etc are not getting done while you make excuses.  We all fall into a rut now and again, and it is very easy for things to get out of hand when we do.  There will always be an excuse NOT to do something that requires work and effort.  I'm not talking about when you are sick and depleted of energy or when an emergency arises.  These things are unavoidable.  

I'm talking about just turning a blind eye to the clutter that surrounds you because you just don't feel like sorting and removing it.  Putting off chores that need to be done because you are being lazy.  Not exercising and eating right because maybe you are not organizing your time efficiently.  Perhaps when you consciously or subconsciously made the decision to put off the task(s) at hand, you felt it was the "right" thing to do.  But you must realize that when you do that for one day, you have doubled your work for tomorrow.  Two days, you have tripled it.  Three days, quadrupled.  Shall I go on??  

Maybe you ditched last night housework or Self work to go out with friends.  Of course going out with your friends and having a few drinks and delicious food is more appetizing than doing chores or working out.  But if you are constantly making excuses you will never get the prize; whatever that may be... a clean organized home? A slimmer healthier you?  A house that is company ready at any time?  It doesn't matter what your goals are, you will NOT reach them if you do not actively work to obtain them.  

I am definitely not saying to throw your social life away.  I'm telling you that you can go have fun after you have finished your task(s) at hand.  If you organize your time more efficiently, you can get everything done and still have time to party.   For example, if your goal is home related, then you MUST work at it daily.  If you are trying to declutter, you MUST remove items daily so set aside 15 minutes everyday for weeding through your stuff.  Tackle one area...NOT A WHOLE ROOM.  Work on clearing off that table or this corner.  And that is it.  Even if you aren't able to finish in the time you have available, you have made progress.  Tomorrow you do some more.  If everyday you are chipping away at your clutter, soon you will be clutter free.   

No matter your goal(s), you MUST organize your time otherwise you are just setting yourself up for failure.  

Perhaps your lack of motivation comes from being overwhelmed.  Maybe you see yourself as so far away from achieving your goals and are overwhelmed and have just given up because of the amount remaining on your plate.  This is when we need to snap out of it and get our heads back in the game.  

I definitely have those days when I don't feel like doing anything.  I am tired from being at work all day and the commute.  I come home and know I have dinner to cook and dishes to wash and whatever other chores are on my schedule for the day.  If I haven't worked out yet in the day, I should be squeezing some exercise in before the night is over.  I need to prepare my breakfast, snacks and lunch for the next day.  And semi-prep tomorrow's dinner.  Oh yeah, I have that family that I want and need to spend time with.  I am sometimes overwhelmed by the amount of time and energy that is required of me to keep myself and my family happy, SANE and provided for!  And in order to do so I know that I must finish what I have put on my plate.  Not food!  Just everything I have laid out for my day.  Putting it off does not make it disappear.  No helpful fairies or gnomes come in to take care of it for me.  I have learned the hard way that if I don't do it today, I will just have to do it the next day, which makes tomorrow doubly busy with housework.  I end up exhausted, cranky and depriving myself of family time and any "ME" time I might have had available.  I no longer push my daily chores off, I just get 'em done.  Then I have more time for my family and myself.

Weight-wise for me, I sometimes feel very overwhelmed.  3 weeks ago I had 86 pounds to lose to reach my goal weight.  EIGHTY SIX!  That sounds totally overwhelming and unattainable.  That sounds like YEARS of dieting and exercising and TORTURE!  But instead of dwelling on that large number and trying to calculate how long it might take me to reach my goal.  I have decided to just take it one day at a time.  I will reach my goal whenever I reach it.  Getting healthier everyday in the process.  I have set mini goals of 5lb increments for myself.  This is most definitely helping to keep me focused on the prize.   In 3 weeks I have reached my first mini goal!  And those weeks flew by.  I know I have a long road ahead of me to my ultimate goal, but I don't feel overwhelmed anymore.  

I firmly believe that making a list of what needs to be done, goals you want to reach, and a wish list is helpful in whatever you are working towards.  See examples below.

WEIGHT LOSS

Be healthier

decrease my chances of heart disease and cancer

live longer to enjoy life with my family

look better

better wardrobe

easier clothing shopping

more energy

healthier skin

I set my household stuff up on a few lists.  I have a TO DO LIST which is a list of projects I want accomplished around the house, more of a wish list...not chores.  I have my DAILY CHORE SCHEDULE, which lists all of my cleaning spread out over the week. 

 

TO DO LIST

Hang wainscoating in bathroom

Remove and replace bathroom tiles

New area rug for living room

Declutter loft/exercise room

Finish kitchen floor

Mend the baby's ripped Capt. America costume

DAILY CHORE SCHEDULE

EVERYDAY - make bed, wash dishes, load of laundry (washed, dried, put away), swish & swipe bathroom, prepare tomorrow's breakfast, snacks and lunch and semi prep tomorrow's dinner, 2 minute hotspots (cleaning up of those areas that are dumping grounds, ie. kitchen counter, table, nightstand, etc)

Mon - clean microwave, Dust kitchen ceiling fan, sweep/mop kitchen, sweep back stairs and back hall.

Tues (day before trash day) - Clean out fridge (all spoiled food in trash), all trash emptied and barrels disinfected, purge all mags/junk mail/circulars, dust and vacuum living room

Wed - Wash and condition leather sofa, wash highchair, change baby's sheets and changing pad cover, dust his ceiling fan and vacuum, spray dog's with deodorizer

Thrs - Pick up baby's room, wash side table in living room, wash glass on TV table and fireplace, clean out underneath the couch (recently added as I followed my nose Saturday to a sippy cup filled with rotten milk of an unknown own age.)

Fri - Clean out purse, clean out car, wash bathroom rug, sweep/mop bathroom, wash dog's feeding stations

Sat - Dust bedroom ceiling fan and furniture, change sheets, sweep/mop bedroom, wash dog's bed

Sun - Sweep front hall and stairs, tidy up front hall, plan week's dinner menu, spray dog's (again), prepare clothes for work week

MONTHLY

wash dogs

vacuum out fireplace

wash windows

wash inside of fridge and freezer

get rid of baby's outgrown clothes and toys

tidy tupperware cabinet

tidy linen baskets

Those are my tips for sticking with your plans, seeing results and continuing until you achieve your goals.  This has helped me and I hope that this will help anyone who might be lacking the motivation right now or possibly even the know how.  Baby steps to success!  Now GET 'ER DONE!

 

Feeling good!

Just want to start off by saying how proud I am of myself!  WHOOT!  I have been eating healthy for the last 3 weeks.  I have lost a little over 6 pounds and I feel great.  I do need to get some more exercise in, as my plan to wake up early and work out on the Total Gym just is not happening.  I am simply NOT a morning person.  I need to dedicate at least 20 minutes five days a week to the Total Gym.  I just need to prioritize my time after work better to do so.

In spite of my lack luster and often non existent exercising, my pants are fitting looser and I have lost those 6+ pounds I mentioned earlier.

A woman that I work with approached me and asked if I would be interested in having a little friendly "Biggest Loser" style competition with her .  Hell yeah!  We decided that the Biggest Loser would receive a $10.00 gift card from the other.  I'm all for it.  We are doing it for 10 weeks.  Then after those 10 weeks we will start the competition again, and again, until we reach our goals.  Of course we both want to win, but regardless of who the winner is, we will both be WINNING!  We will both be sticking to our plans, encouraging each other, and just being healthier in general.

Even though I haven't really been getting my workout on at home, I have been sneaking a little bit in here and there at work.  I keep a weighted hula hoop at the office and I have been hooping during lunch when I watch my shows.  I also walked around our building one day.  I am going to try and do that everyday.  I am entitled to two 15 minute breaks a day and I am going to start taking them.  WHY NOT!?  I think I just decided that I will take two walks everyday.  If I recall correctly one lap around the building is a 1/4 mile.  I need to double check just so I can log my activity daily.  But regardless, it will be exercise and fresh air. (I rarely leave the building for fear that I won't come back, haha!)  I also have a Pilates Toning Ring in my office.  I do not use it like it is intended, instead I use it like a Thigh Master a'la Suzanne Somers and to work my arms.  Oh, excuse me, I said I use it.  I meant I will dust it off tomorrow and then I will do those things I mentioned.  My job also has a small gym.  There are two treadmills, a Gazelle and some other things in there.  I can walk or "gazelle" in there if the weather is bad or if I just wanted a little change of pace.  I really have no excuse.  Just need to do it.

Below is a quick list of the changes I made to my daily routine:

• eliminate white sugar
• drink at least 1.5 quarts of water a day
• take multi vitamin
• eat 6 small meals a day
• eat fresh fruit and/or vegetable with at least 5 out of 6 meals
• sneak in exercise whenever possible
• try to eliminate all processed foods
• only whole grains

I am enjoying eating healthy meals and snacks.  I have always loved fresh fruits and veggies, and I have always eaten a good amount of them.  But I have also mixed in a lot of processed foods and sweets.  I will always have a sweet tooth, but I am learning to appreciate the natural sweetness of fruit again.  I honestly am preferring the sweetness of a juicy clementine or some frozen red seedless grapes over cake or a doughnut.  I have been VERY good during the work day despite the constant influx of baked goods and random junk that my boss continues to bring in.  This past week alone, there were brownies, 3 different containers of cookies, more than half of a 1/4 sheet birthday cake, and a big bowl of miniature candy bars. I have not indulged in one single morsel.  I refuse.  I am letting the sight of the junk piss me off.  I have found that is my best defense.  It may not be the right way, but it is working for me.  What is a little scary though is that it doesn't look like any of the cake has been touched.  That most likely means that in the past I was the main culprit in devouring any baked goods that were brought in.  haha!  Whatever.  I hope that bastard cake rots all over the counter.  I WILL NOT EAT YOU!  

What else??  Oh, I am learning to like water.  I really don't think I will ever LOVE straight up water.  It's just so... blah.  But I am loving water with lemon or lime in it.  Sometimes I add a packet of Truvia to make lemonade or limeade.  Yum!

I have not added any white sugar to anything in about a month.  I have replaced sugar with Truvia in my occasional coffee.  I use honey, Truvia or agave nectar in my smoothies and tea and when needed in cooking.  Sometimes I use brown sugar as well.  But NO white sugar.  It is extra bad and I don't want it in my system.  I also don't want any sugar substitutes that contain saccharin or aspartame.  Truvia has replaced Splenda and Equal for me.  It is all natural, made from Stevia (which is a plant) and calorie free.

I've been getting in more whole grains.  I have always preferred them with the exception of white rice.  I truly do love me some white rice.  But I have not been eating it.  I switched us to brown rice.  I can't say I love brown rice, but it is growing on me.  Quinoa is a favorite of mine as well as steel cut oats.  Frigging yum!  I can't even eat regular oatmeal anymore, haha!  I haven't been eating much bread lately, but when I do it is 100% whole wheat or some other whole grain bread.  I honestly can't remember the last time I had white bread.  I don't think my kids have ever tasted bread that is not brown.  And my oldest is almost 17.

I have been adding 100% organic Coconut oil to my diet daily.  Yes it is a fat, but it is a healthy fat.

The health benefits of coconut oil include hair care, skin care, stress relief, maintaining cholesterol levels, weight loss, increased immunity, proper digestion and metabolism, relief from kidney problems, heart diseases, high blood pressure, diabetes, HIV and cancer, dental care, and bone strength. These benefits of coconut oil can be attributed to the presence of lauric acid, capric acid and caprylic acid, and its properties such as antimicrobial, antioxidant, antifungal, antibacterial, soothing, etc.

When I have toast I spread a little on instead of butter.  I add a small amount to my steel cut oats.  I add it to my roasted root vegetables.  It is very good for you and the flavor is delicious!  I bought two jars of it and I keep one in the kitchen and the other in the bathroom.  I have been using only coconut oil as a moisturizer for my skin and it is phenomenal!  I use it my hair a few times a week before bed as well.

I have not been drinking alcohol as much.  I'm not a big drinker, but in the summer I definitely drink more.  Over the past 3 weeks I have cut my alcoholic libations from 3-4 a week to just one.  I think this has had an impact on my weight loss.

I have had ice cream when I wanted it (if I had the calories to spare).  I am just not willing to deprive myself of everything.  I won't last if I restrict everything from my life.  I don't want this new way of eating to be a diet, this is a new way of life for me.  I am not eating like this for a certain period of time, this is how I want to eat for the rest of my life.  Food should nourish your body and give you energy.  Not hold you down and make you sluggish.  I want to continue to look at food simply as nourishment.  Eat to live not live to eat.  Don't get me wrong, I will always love the taste of food.  I don't want that to change, but food should not be the center of my universe.  It should not be the focus of a get together, rather the company of good friends and family should be.

Healthy breakfast, snacks and lunch are all ready for tomorrow and I am prepared to continue down my road to a healthier happier me.  Feeling good!  :)  Now if I could just get my butt in the bed earlier.  UGH!

Check your price tag

"If you're not being treated with love and respect, check your price tag. Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's YOU who tell people what you're worth by what you accept. Get off the clearance rack and get behind the glass where they keep the valuables!"

That was my cousin's Facebook status recently.  Not sure if she wrote that or if she read it someplace else and felt the need to pass it along.  Regardless, I had to steal it.  I firmly believe that if you don't value, respect and love yourself than no one else will either.  

In my younger years I had a couple of loser boyfriends.  Good for nothing, mentally and physically abusive, and heartless.  I remember arguing with both of these "men" and they both used this classic phrase on me often, "YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME."  Sometimes, it was a statement and other times it was a posed as a question.  At that time, I was young and dumb and my self esteem is not what it is today and I would immediately fold and say, "NO, I don't think I am better than anyone."   When these idiots would say that I thought I was better than them, it somehow made me feel like the jerk.  It made me knock myself down a peg.  How ABSURD!  I know!  I definitely had battered woman syndrome during my late teens and very early adulthood.  I really believed inside that it was my fault that these animals treated me the way that they did. 

I definitely never deserved to be abused but I sure did make it easy.  I always forgave and pretended to forget.  I always took the blame and I always allowed one more chance.  I stayed with these men for a couple of reasons.  One reason was I pitied them, I felt that I was the reason they had a place to live.  If I kicked them out they surely would be homeless and I would be responsible, right?  And second.. I simply didn't value MYSELF.

Then one day I literally WOKE UP.   I honestly don't know exactly what flipped the switch in me.  Maybe that last slap in the head did it, who knows.  But I was DONE.  I knew that I didn't deserve to be treated like that.  I knew that there was a man out there for me that would love to "have" me.  To hold me in his arms instead of hurting me.  A man who would love to say kind words to me to make me feel good rather than get some sick twisted thrill from saying degrading nasty things to me and watching me cry.  A man who would do whatever he could to prevent tears from flowing from my eyes than being the cause of those tears.  A man who would love me for me and not try to change me.  A man who understood that I was my own person and I make my own decisions and they would love that about me and would not try to control me.  A man that understood that a good woman compliments a good man and that our love and understanding can only make us both stronger.

After leaving the second guy, I felt that I needed to be alone for a while to re-evaluate my life and understand what it was about me that was attracting such scumbags.  It wasn't long before I realized that the problem was I did not value myself.  I was easy prey.  They were both older than me (not obscenely though), and I was kind of attracted to that.  I felt that them being older would make them more experienced in how to treat a woman, I wouldn't have to teach them like I might have to with a younger man.  I was naive to relationships, in general.  I mean, I had my little Jr. High and High School boyfriends and crap, but I was totally green as to what is expected and acceptable in an adult relationship.  I was a young single mother, I was attractive, and probably gave off the "I'm lonely-have low self esteem-come take advantage of me" vibe.  It's like an irresistible perfume that abusive men just can not resist.  They must approach you and almost immediately move into your home.  It's like wild panther pheromones, hahaha!  But seriously, abusive men have a type.  And I possessed many of the sad qualities that they typically stalk.  I needed to improve how I viewed myself so that others would value me more.  If I continue to portray myself as lonely and weak, then I am just setting myself up for the next lowlife to abuse me.  

Although I was still in the process of mending myself, I reconnected with my (now) hubby.  We have known of each other since Jr. High and I had a crush on him since then.  We bumped into each other at the store.  I will never forget - I had on inside out sweats (for some reason that was cool in the 90's) and my hair was a hot mess.  I had the chicken pox and had red dots all over my face and arms, no makeup.  I had walked to Walgreen's to get Calamine lotion, and tampons (yup, double whammy).  And I am in line behind this man that I have had a crush on for like 10 years.  I put my feminine hygiene products and calamine lotion down on the counter and I approached him with some cheesy line that I do not remember (or shall I say I will not repeat).  We chatted for only a couple minutes and we went our separate ways.  I immediately felt some sort of positive connection with him.  I won't say that I knew at that time that this is the man I would spend the rest of my life with or anything.  But I definitely sensed something different in him than any of the men from my past.  He was definitely worth semi stalking. LOL!  I went home and pulled out my local phone book and searched for him.  I found only two listings with his last name and just chose one, not knowing his address.  I built up the nerve to call him and HE ANSWERED!  I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he told me that he had several.  WHAT?!?!?!  I said, oh ok, I'm all set.  Then he said that he was just joking.  We got to talking and the rest as they say, "Is history".  


The first couple of years that we were together I was still finding my way to loving myself.  And he really did help me.  He always made sure that I knew how beautiful I was and that I did not deserve what I was put through in my past.  He has always been supportive of me and everything that I strive to do.  He has never put me down - EVER!  He is the exact opposite of the morons that I was with in the past.


It took valuing myself to find a man to value me.  I don't compare myself to others in terms of qualities or attributes.  I am ME, not you or them.  I am MYSELF and I love myself.  I am not perfect, nor do I want to be.  My quirks make me who I am.  I know the areas that I feel require improvement, but these improvements will not change WHO I am.. these improvements will make me even happier ME.  


I do not regret the moronic men from my past.  Them putting me through hell has helped me become the woman that I am today.  I learned from them (the hard way) what is not acceptable in a relationship.  I learned what I will not tolerate.  I am thankful that I did not allow my heart to be hardened by their actions and inabilities so that when the opportunity for true love and happiness arose I was able to surrender myself fully to it.  I am glad that I went through the BS when I was much younger so that I was able to find myself and my soulmate when I did.  I would hate to still be in that position at almost 35 and just now starting to really live and love life.


I know that there are thousands of women (and men) out there that have low self value.  That allow their partner to take advantage of their weaknesses and belittle them.  Sadly, there are tons of people on this planet just looking for someone to knock down and take from.  I know that it is sometimes hard to find yourself and raise your self worth when the person you are with constantly puts you down and makes you feel worthless.  But the only way out of that funk and to start LIVING your life is to START OVER.  Find your true self, and love the YOU that you are, not what someone wants you to be!  This has nothing to do with how you look, the hair on your head, the clothes on your body or your weight.  This is all about how you feel.  Begin building your confidence around WHO you are and what qualities you have to offer the world.  Not what you can give them or what some one can physically take from you, but what just being in your mere presence can do for someone.  Once you have your confidence, pride and love for yourself, no one can take that away.   


REBOOT.  REFRESH.  RESTART.  FRESH PAGE.  NEW DAY. 
                                                                              - Erykah Badu

Get the kids involved

There is no reason why a child two years or older can't help with cleaning up. You can't expect too much from them, but they can help with small things. I actually ask my 2.5 year old son to do one of the chores that I dislike the most; dusting. HE LOVES IT! I give him the microfiber duster and he walks around the living room and dusts the TV table and side table, window sills, the fireplace, even the floor... which is not necessary, but it keeps him busy, so have at it!

One of our dog's is obsessed with shredding up paper and paper towels. I dread having to pick up all of those little scraps of paper. They are too big for the vacuum cleaner, but the scraps are on the carpet so I can't just sweep it up. My son loves picking up all the little pieces and throwing them in the trash. It may take him a lot longer than it would take me, but in my eyes, SO WHAT!? He is helping Mama clean and he is keeping himself busy. And he is also learning to clean.

Children this age can also be taught to clean up after themselves.  Since my son has been about a year old, I have tried to involve him in cleaning up his toys. Making it fun, singing the "Clean up Song" and dancing around, so he thinks of it as a game. When he is finished with a snack, he throws any wrappers in the trash and bowls or cups in the sink. These small things are VERY helpful.  Him cleaning up after himself, leaves less work for Mama.  Sometimes he loses his mind (haha!) and will throw his trash on the floor, but I kindly remind him to pick it up and ask him where it is supposed to go.  He picks it up with no problem and says "trash" and proceeds to the kitchen trash barrel.  Cleaning up toys is usually pretty stress free.  I've tried to teach him to put one thing away before taking out another.  But that does not always happen.  Toys like legos and puzzles are the worst (clean up wise) and there are times when he asks us to help him clean up and we are totally fine with that. Once we toss a couple pieces in the bin, he usually just takes over and finishes.

In his bedroom, there is no clutter.  We rotate toys on a regular basis, if we see that he is not interested in a particular toy for a period of time we will put it away (out of his room).  Once he has outgrown a toy or clothes/shoes, they are donated.  Why have them taking up space.  I take inventory of his stuff usually once every three months.  He has this organization shelving system from Ikea, and I found pics of his toys online and printed them on sticker labels and put them on the drawers. And he almost immediately grasped the concept of putting the toys back in the drawer with the right picture on it. And he always knows where to look for whatever toy he wants to play with. I hung these baskets on his wall and put all of his crayons in one, markers in another and magnetic letters and numbers in a third. I mounted these little containers on the wall above the baskets. One houses all of his chalk, another has his hair brush and lotion, one I designated for found toy/game pieces.  The next time we play with that toy or game I collect the missing piece(s) and put them back in the box it belongs to.  I also hung some of these hooks around his room at his height so he can hang his towel, robe and hoodies "like a big boy".  I also hung one in the bathroom to hang his potty seat on.  He gets the seat when he has to "go" and he replaces it when he is finished... most of the time.

The idea here is that everything has a place and that the child is learning to be organized. When you put things away where they belong there is no problem finding it when you want or need it later.

Do NOT give children any "chores" that are going to stress you out.  For example, I refuse to let the boy wash dishes right now.  NO WAY!  The two times I have let him play in the sink there has been a tsunami to clean up afterward.  He may have had fun, but making another chore for Mama is not helping me.  And let's be honest, can a small child really clean dishes?  Of course not.  I knew that.  I just thought letting him play "wash the dishes" would give him some practice and honestly, just keep him out of my hair for 20 minutes so I could do some cleaning up.  This will NEVER happen again until he is pushing double digits.

If you don't already have your children involved with helping out around the house, what are you waiting for?

Here are my tips:

• First, if you have a bad attitude about cleaning, so will your children.  If you walk around hemming and hawing about cleaning then your children will never want to clean either.  If you don't clean, your kids will have no positive example to follow.  If this is you.  CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE.
• Children should be supervised, I hope that goes without saying.
• Never give children cleaning products.  Even my now beloved vinegar will burn eyes if it gets in them.  But other cleaners can be fatal if ingested.
• Never give them a bucket of water, children can drown in the smallest amount of water. 
• Give them small tasks that are quick and easy so they can stay focused on it for the small amount of time their short attention spans allow.  
• When they are playing, teach them to put away the toy they are no longer playing with before taking out another.
• Don't punish children for not cleaning up.  Explain why it is helpful if they do.  Also explain that when they put their items away where they belong it will be easy to find them later.
• If they ask for help, help them.  I've found that my son will do most of the work if I just squat next to him and chuck a couple toys in the bin every now and then.
• Eliminate clutter
• Teach your kids that there are children less fortunate than they are.  Explain that when they donate their toys they are making other little boys and girls happy.  
• Toss younger kids toys while they are sleeping or away from home.  Trust me, if your child sees you tossing their toys in a trash bag, they will most likely have a fit.  Even if it is a toy they have ignored for 6 months.
• If your children are older and really resistant to letting go of some toys/games, maybe offer to buy them ONE new toy or game for every five or ten that they part with.  I know some would disagree and say that is bribery.  But if it works and keeps the peace is there anything really so wrong with that?  You will most likely be buying them that toy in the near future anyway.
• Praise them for their hard work.  Kids love and need to be encouraged with positivity.  When my son sees me cleaning sometimes he will tell me "Goot job, Mama!" or "AWE-TUM" (Awesome) and it always makes me smile. So imagine how good it makes your child feel when you tell them. :)  Not to mention you are boosting their vocabulary.  My 2.5 yo says words like, fantastic, beautiful and amazing.  In his own cute little pre-school pronounciation of course.  But he has learned all of these words from our constant praising of his achievements.
• Buy them a mini set of cleaning tools, ie. broom, dustpan and dry mop.  Most kids like to emulate what they see their parents do.  So having their own set of tools just like Mom and Dad's will hopefully inspire them to clean like Mom and Dad.
• Make them believe that cleaning is fun.  Sing the "Clean up" song. 
• Remember you are the parent, it is your responsibility to do the cleaning.  Do NOT pawn your household chores off on your children.  What you should be aiming for is teaching your children how to clean up after themselves.  If they enjoy doing some other safe chores, ASK them to help you.  When they are older, I'd say 9-10'ish, then you can assign real chores.  Like taking out the trash, sweeping, washing dishes, teaching them to do (supervised) laundry, etc.

These are just my tips.  All children are different and you know your child best, so use or adjust these tips as you see fit to help your child become more organized and learn responsibility.  Good luck!

Thanks for stopping by!

Back to Work

I am very happy to have Labor Day off today!!  I have a general rule to not think about work at all on the weekends. Although I usually can't help it after about 4pm on Sundays, on account of all the dread that builds up knowing there is only about 5-6 real hours left to the weekend.  Anyway, I have decided that I need to change my rule slightly.  I still WILL NOT think about any "real work" on the weekends.  I WILL NOT think about things that need to be done, or customers that need to be called etc.  But I WILL prepare myself for the upcoming work week by doing the following:

• Prepare lunches the night before
• Prepare all snacks for the week
• Choose outfits and iron them if necessary
• Prepare a dinner menu for the week
• Placing a basket at the "Launch Pad"

By completing the above list on the weekends, at my leisure, I will be making the work week run much more smoothly.

Preparing my lunch the night before will give me no choice but to eat a healthy, correctly portioned lunch.  There will be no scrambling in the morning to just throw something into a tupperware container.  There will be no processed frozen meals high in sodium,  There will be no more of my beloved Nissin Teriyaki Beef Chow Mein noodles.  So cheap, so tasty... yet sadly so unhealthy :/  No running across the street to McDonald's - which I don't even care for, but in the area that I work that is the only choice besides pizza or hoity-toity establishments with high priced grub.  And I have to be totally honest here,  not to toot my own horn or anything, but my cooking and salads are 100 times better than anything I could have delivered.  TOOT TOOT! 

Preparing my snacks for the week will help me tremendously in the weight loss area.  I should be eating a small nutritious snack every 2-3 hours.  I rarely accomplish this due to poor preparation and time management. This will change as of today.  I will measure out my healthy snacks and put them in containers or ziplocks and have them ready to go.  No more sitting at my desk starving until I have the shakes and then downing a whole bag of croutons.  No more wasting money on garbage from the vending machine regretting it... as I eat it.

Having my clothes already picked out and ready to wear will be a super time booster.  Especially as the season changes and it gets lighter out later.  In the late fall and winter I am usually leaving the house for work as the sun comes up.  Which means that I am getting dressed in the dark.  The hubby is still sleeping so I don't like to turn the light on and wake him or even worse, wake the baby in the next room.  So I fumble around in the dark for my day's wardrobe.  I have OFTEN put underwear on inside out, worn a black sock and a brown sock together, one time I even put on two different color shoes of the same style.  (Luckily I had an extra pair of shoes in the car.)  If my clothes are ready, I can just grab the hanger with the whole outfit that has been carefully chosen and ironed and get dressed like a normal person.   

Having a menu of the weeks dinners written out will make my after work routine quicker.  I can prepare as much of the next night's dinner as possible the night before.  Chopping vegetables, making sauces or marinades, making salads, assembling casseroles so the hubby can just throw it in the oven and it will be ready when I get home, (how awesome is that!?)  There will be no last minute decisions on what we will eat and having to stop at the mobbed grocery stores to pick up ingredients after work.  No cereal for dinner, haha!  No unhealthy, "screw it" meals or even worse TAKE OUT or DELIVERY.... NOOOOOOOOO!  No more of that.  By being prepared we will dine on well thought out, easy to prepare, well balanced, healthy meals that the whole family will enjoy.

Now, the Launch Pad.  The Launch Pad is where you take off from.  My launch pad will be the landing outside of my front door.  I plan to have all items that I need for my work day on the Launch Pad the night before,  that way there is no chance of forgetting anything.  To make this even more perfect, I plan to follow a tip I saw over on 365 Days of Organization.

She says: "Place a medium-sized basket by the door you use to leave the house every day. Anything that needs to go out the door with you gets placed into the basket. When you leave the house take the basket with you and put it in the car.  As you run your errands, anything you receive goes into the basket, such as receipts or dry cleaner slips.  When you get home, anything else in the car (cups, wrappers, etc.) go into the basket and you take the basket back into the house with you. Unpack the basket put all the items into their proper place.  When the basket is empty it is placed near the door and the process begins all over again."

With all the extra time I will have left over each morning I may now have time for a nice cup of coffee or tea and a healthy breakfast.

Easy Breezy mornings!  Ain't nothing wrong with that!

I heart Hoarders!

Sometimes when I have no ambition to clean and get my home in order, I turn on the TV and find an episode of Hoarders On Demand. I LOVE IT! I get so disgusted with what I see on my television screen, I can barely watch a whole episode without getting up and cleaning. My apartment is in no way comparable to any of these homes, but I do battle with clutter.

I watch the show with a mixture of emotions. Pity, disgust, confusion, anger, hope. And not to mention it is very entertaining. I know that hoarding is a disease. I just do not understand it. When your home is so filthy and cluttered that the Board of Health has deemed it unfit for humans to live in and Social Services has given you a deadline to have it cleaned up or they will remove your children... how is it so hard to CLEAN UP!?!? It is baffling to me. If I was in their shoes, I would just call and have a half dozen dumpsters delivered to my house and just throw everything in it except for what was actually needed. Like I said I know that it is an illness but I just want to slap these people in the head. Knock some sense into them.

I know that the therapists and professional organizers are educated in what they do and have obviously developed a way to deal with these extreme cases, but I disagree with some of their practices. Coddling these people and holding up every single item in the house and asking the hoarder if this item and that item can be donated or discarded is just ridiculous to me. I know they must do it this way for a reason, there must be proven results with this method. I do understand that if the hoarder does not feel that they had total control over what gets tossed than they will just go right out and start their hoard all over again. In almost every episode the hoarder is like no, I need that. I can't part with this bin of bottle caps. No, I can still eat that rotten pumpkin and yogurt...REALLY?! WHY is this even an option?! LADY, your home is going to be demolished, your children will be removed from your custody and you will be homeless if you don't clean up within the next 3 days! Is the clutter worth all of that to you? Again I know hoarding is an illness but seriously, it is just insane to me that people are having such a dilemma in deciding to keep or toss a bowl of rotten liquefied fruit that was discovered under two tons of clothing in their kitchen and an old ripped nightgown that they remember wearing the first time they saw Gone with the Wind in order to keep their family together and avoid eviction from their home??!!

I have developed my own system of depleting my homes clutter. My plan involves not even looking in boxes or bins that I have not opened in over 2 years. If I have not had any reason to open these containers in 2+ years, then the contents obviously are of NO importance to me. Why even bother opening them up and going through every item and making a decision as to what will stay or be tossed? I have no interest or time to bother with that. Last year I did a partial clutter clean in my basement. I had 4 huge Rubbermaid tubs marked Maleeka's clothes. I do recall packing those bins with clothes when I had gained a lot of weight and they no longer fit me. (story for another post.) I gained the majority of my weight over a DECADE ago! I moved those bins with me to THREE apartments!! Never opening them once. I finally woke up while I was sitting on the stairs to the basement. It became so evident that I will never wear this shit! First of all, I am still too big for these clothes. Second, these are fashions from 10-14 years ago! Even if I was able to fit into them, would I even wear them? Hell no! We're talking late 90's - early 2000's fashion here, hahaha! I dragged those Bad Larrys to the backyard and went online to Big Brother/Big Sister and scheduled a donation pickup. OUTTA HERE!

Since then, I have stuck with this plan. I have made a major dent in my clutter problem. I have donated over 15 trash bags, 5 boxes and those 4 huge Rubbermaid containers full of items to Big Brother/Big Sister Association and hopefully they will be useful to someone else . The boxes/bags that I do go through I only take a second to make my decision if it will stay or go. I ask myself, "have I used this item in the past 6 months to a year?" If the answer is no, then I decide if I will donate or toss in the trash. If I decide to keep the item than I need to find a home for it immediately. If I can't find a home for it, then I ask myself again, "Self? Do you really want to keep this?" 9 times out of 10, I decide to toss or donate.

I have no fear of tossing important documents or sentimental items as I do actually put those things in a particular place. I'm not saying that these areas are organized but there is no chance of documents or items of utmost importance being tossed or donated since I do not just jam them in random boxes. Cleaning my file cabinet is on my to do list.

Not sure if my way is the right way for anyone else, but it has worked wonders for me. I don't make much progress when I am coddled. Tell me what to do to make these changes and MAKE ME DO IT! If I fight you with excuses, FIRMLY explain to me how stupid my excuses are and redirect my attention to the big picture...Dutch Aunty style.

Now if I could just develop a plan for weight loss that works as well for me as my decluttering plan.