Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Even better hair days! - Updated Natural Hair Care

Hi everyone!  I  have been neglecting the blog again, GRRR.

I hope everyone had a nice Easter.  I myself...drank too much and have a sick pre-schooler who has spread his germs to me. UGH!!   But hanging out with family is always nice.

I realized that I had not updated my hair care regiment since changing it up a bit.  I recently felt the need to minimize all of the hair products in my cabinet, so this would be a good time to update my curly peeps on what I am doing.  Currently in my stash, I have Shea Oil, Avocado Oil, a Jojoba/Argan mixture, Extra Virgin Coconut Oil and Cold Pressed Extra Virgin Olive Oil.  I also have Shea Butter.  Of all of those oils, I will continue to purchase and use the coconut oil, EVOO and Shea Butter.  I know that all of those other oils are beneficial but I just don't think I need them and it will save me a fair deal of money by not buying them anymore.  The past two months I have not used any of my bottled or jarred products either (other than shampoo and condish).  In my cabinet I have Shea Moisture Leave-In Conditioner, Shea Moisture's Curl Enhancing Smoothie, Curling Souffle and Coconut & Hibiscus Curl and Style Milk. Curl Junkie Coffee-Coco Curl Creme, Palmer's Coconut Oil Hair Milk and Eco Styler Olive Oil Styling Gel.  Just using minimal product on my hair these past two months has given me amazing curly hair results.  My curls are very defined, my hair is super soft and I have no visible split ends.  YAY!  (I do think that I should probably schedule my next DevaCut soon though.)

I haven't been using any of the products that I listed above or in my previous Natural Hair Care post here.  Although I did get great results with these products and I would still recommend them to curly girls, I personally have chosen to phase them out.  One in particular is the Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle shampoo.  Sadly it seems they have changed the recipe or the ingredients.  It's not tea tree tingly enough for me anymore. I loved it before.  I'm going to purchase one more bottle of it and see if I just got a bum bottle last time.

Over the past two months, this is my hair care line up:


Since I have not been feeling Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle shampoo lately I decided to try something new. I tried Organix Hydrating Macadamia Oil Shampoo.  I like it.  It feels very lush and moisturizing and it smells nice.  Macadamia Nut oil is supposed to be really good for your hair.  It is a very light oil and relatively non greasy (as far as oils go).  It easily penetrates the hair shaft as well as the scalp so it can help with dandruff.  Macadamia Nut Oil may also help your hair grow.  Although Macadamia Nut Oil has all of those benefits, I'm not sure how much of the actual oil is even in this shampoo since it is the 17th ingredient listed on the label.  Since I can hardly pronounce any of the ingredients I'm pretty sure that this product is far from all natural although the name Organix might have tricked the consumer (me) into believing it was all or close to natural.  And I'm pretty sure it contains sulphates.  I actually only bought it because I had a giftcard to CVS and I wanted to try something new...and it was on sale.  I probably should've read the bottle better before purchasing.  I do like the way my hair feels after using it these past few washings but I most likely will not buy it again, simply because it has way too many chemicals in it for me to feel like I am doing right by my hair.


I also tried a new conditioner and I LOVE it!!  I have been using TRESemme Vitamin E Moisture Rich conditioner for years.  But, I don't know, I feel like it is not conditioning as well as it once did.  I've heard that you should rotate conditioners occasionally as they become less effective on your hair over time.  So I bought Trader Joe's Nourish Spa conditioner.  LOVE IT!  It was only $3.99 and I dare say it is THEE best conditioner I have ever used.  Not that I want to spend more money, but I would definitely pay more for this conditioner ...if I had to.  Having said that, Trader Joe's, do not jack the price up, please and thank you.  This conditioner has all natural ingredients in it and it smells really nice.  I use this after shampooing every 1-2 weeks and as my co-wash about every 3-4 days or as needed.  I also started using a little in my hair as a leave in conditioner.


I still use my beloved Extra Virgin Coconut Oil the same as I did in my previous post.  I use it to seal my ends.  I use it on my skin.  I cook with it.  I also make an awesome balm out of EVCO and Shea Butter.  I put them into the blender together and whip it up until it is nice and fluffy and put into 8oz. containers for each family member.  We all use it on our bodies and in our hair (well daddy shaves his head bald so he does not use it on his hair, ha).  I don't think I could ever be without my coconut oil.  And as an awesome bonus, I pretty much smell like an Almond Joy all the time, ha!  YUM!

And I have learned to further love Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO) (as if that was possible).  Seriously!  Just like with the Coconut Oil - I cook with it, use it on my skin and my hair.  I keep a bottle in the kitchen and in the bathroom.

Here is a video of the beautiful Mlle Cafe Au Lait showing what I do to my hair after washing.  This will be better than me typing it all and you having to read it.  (You know I just deleted ALL of the instructions and decided to insert the video instead, right?)

I do this all over my head and then I just diffuse my hair or let it air dry.  If I diffuse, I flip my hair over while blow drying to give me more volume.  If I air dry, I DO NOT touch the hair at all while it dries.  Once it is dry, I flip my head over and shake my hair all around, separating curls where needed in order to get my big hair going on.

I've found that using less products works great for me.  I was happy with my hair before, but I am beyond thrilled with the results I have been getting using next to nothing.  I hope that you find this helpful.  Especially for curly girls that may think that natural hair products are costly.  I am spending next to nothing these days and my hair looks and feels more fabulous than ever.

Ta-ta for now :)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012


Once upon a time, I was a fan of Taco Bell.  When I was in Jr. High school, the only taco bell around here was at the mall.  Every now and then my friends and I would take the bus to the mall, do a little shopping and then head for the food court for some fine dining.  I remember how I thought Taco Bell's soft shell Taco Supremes were the SHIZNIT!!!  Either I had a steel drum for a belly or they have seriously changed the way they make their crappy food.  Probably both.

I will share a very quick, very personal, very embarrassing story with all of you now.  About 4 years ago, the hubby and I were going food shopping.  We were a little hungry and decided we should grab something quick to eat on the way, you know, so we wouldn't be food shopping hungry, that's a big no-no.   So he got Burger King and I got a Chicken Baja Chalupa from Taco Bell.  We ate our food in the car and then headed into the grocery store.  About 15 minutes into out shopping excursion, I started getting a bad case of the bubble guts.  I wasn't sure what was going on in my belly.  I felt like I had to pass gas, but was afraid that I may just shart my pants.  haha!  No seriously.  So of course the hubby is laughing at me, which makes me giggle which is dangerous in a situation like this.  By the time we got over to the frozen food section, I was pretty sure I was going to have to abandon my whole cart of food and run for the bathroom.  We timed our check out perfect and was able to get out of there in record time.  On the drive home, we made a plan.  I would sit in the car while Hubby unlocked and opened all of the doors, he would then hold open the screen door so I could just bolt in to the house and take care of business.  Sorry if this disgusts anyone, but get over it...everyone poops, ha!  I have not eaten at Taco Bell since that day and I changed their slogan from, "Run for the Border" to "Run for the Bathroom".  Hubby and I still crack up whenever this day comes to mind and whenever we see a commercial for Taco Bell.  What did I learn that day??  Something is not right with their food or at least it no longer agrees with me.

I saw a commercial the other day for their new tacos that are in a shell made of frigging Doritos; the Doritos Locos Taco.  ARE YOU SHITTING ME??!!  Pun intended!  That doesn't even sound appetizing whatsoever.  I don't understand the need for all of the ridiculous gimmicks and disgusting food experiments.  The most delicious tacos and burritos I have ever had had all natural REAL ingredients in them and they definitely were not served up in some nasty fake cheese, finger staining taco shell.  To each his own, but best believe I will never experience the shit show known as the Doritos Locos Taco.

And now I leave you with one of my all time favorite SNL commercial parodies, Taco Town.  I'm pretty sure this is what Taco Bell is aspiring to achieve.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Operation Pretty Pits - You down wit' OPP?

I have been totally (unintentionally) avoiding my blog.  Sorry people.  I probably lost the few followers that I had.  Hope not.

I've been pretty busy over the past month.  I started the "Couch to 2K" program.  I haven't actually completed day 1 yet...but I have added more time onto my run every day that I try, which is definite progress that I am very proud of.  What else??  I went to Florida to visit my mom and some friends.  Just me and my 3 year old.  We had a good time :)  And being solely responsible for him for a whole 8 days made me realize even further how much I love my hubby and all that he does.  And hats off to single parents everywhere, it is hard!!

What else what else??... oh, I paid off two of my three credit cards.  It hurt to fork over that money from my tax refund but now I feel good about it!

Oh yeah!  One of my besties is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid!  That is super exciting!!!  I've never been in a wedding before and I'm not exactly sure what my duties are.  I need to google that ASAP.   They are having an outdoor summer wedding.  She and her hubby-to-be are both into the water and boating and he loves fishing.  So after they say their vows they are going to take a boat ride around the island and when they come back all of us bridesmaids will be holding fishing rods forming an arch for them to walk under.  How frigging cute is that!!??!!  Here is my dilemma... I have black pits from hell!  haha!  Seriously.

We are all picking out our own dresses, no matchy match stuff going on so I can buy whatever I want to wear.  It will be very hot as it will be the height of summer.  So I would like to wear something that I am comfortable in (heat wise)...but I also want to look cute and black pits are NOT cute.  If anyone is not clear what I am talking about when I say black pits, I am referring to my underarms.  After almost 30 years of shaving and wearing deodorants that contain aluminum my underarms are much darker than the rest of my skin.  I spent a good part of Saturday evening on youtube.  Just for shits and giggles I typed "black armpits" into the search box and too my delight there were quite a few videos talking about this very issue.  I don't know for sure if I was more delighted that other women have been cursed with this horrible affliction or that there are some promising remedies for the problem.  I think it was a little of both, muahahaha!  WHAT?  Why should I be the only one with hideous Abyss Pits?!

There are bleaching creams and one in particular (Xtreme Brite) that has shown to work wonders on hell pits.  Let me state right here right now that I love my caramel complexion and would never change it.  I love what my parents created and no matter what color my skin color might have been I would be proud of it.  I think that all shades of skin are beautiful no matter their coloring from the fairest porcelain to the deepest shades of brown.  I do not believe in bleaching your skin in order to obtain an overall lighter skin shade.  I find that quite sad.  Now, having said that...Let the skin bleaching commence!!!!  haha!  I am only wanting to lighten my armpits.  They have been the one area of my body that I have been extremely self conscience about since about 6th grade.  I avoid raising my arms in public in the summer all cost.  As a kid, I remember raising my hand in class and covering my pit with my other hand if I was wearing short sleeves, haha!  Pathetic.  I know that I am clean but the appearance of my pits begs to differ.  I fear that people may think I am dirty because of my FUGLY underarms.

So where was I??  Ah yes, Xtreme Brite.  I watched several videos on Youtube showing different women with dark underarms and they successfully lightened them using this product.  You just apply the gel a couple times a day and typically over the course of a couple months you see results.  But it seemed to me that it could get expensive.  Ladies are saying that they are going through a $10.00-15.00 tube every couple weeks.  On average, 2-3 months seems to be the amount of "treatment" that is needed to achieve goal lightening.  So I am looking at anywhere from as low as $40.00 to as high as $90.00 to lighten them.  That does not appeal to me.  The cost is a turn off along with having to order it on Amazon or directly through their site, which obviously involves waiting for it to be delivered.  And also wanting to avoid using chemicals, I figured I would do some research and find a home remedy for my tar pits.

My research taught me that just washing your underarms in the shower does not remove all of the bacteria on your skin, so swabbing them with a cotton ball soaked in Apple Cider Vinegar will help to remove all bacteria.  I already knew that lemon is a mild all natural bleaching agent.  But I also found that potatoes and papaya are as well.  I did not have any papayas in the house but I did have a bag of potatoes and half of a lemon.  Using my blender, I made a paste out of the potato and the little bit of juice I was able to squeeze out of the lemon.  I put the potato/lemon puree into a plastic container.  I then swabbed my freshly shaved armpits with apple cider vinegar!  FARDKING OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm going to go ahead and say, don't do this right after shaving.  After blowing on pits for a couple minutes and cooling the burning sensation down a tad, I then grabbed a small handful of potato/lemon puree and rubbed it on my pits.  I read to let it sit for approximately 15-20 minutes... I had a child with the flu.  She went into the bathroom about 10 minutes into my "treatment" and she stayed in there for about 30 minutes.  So do the math, it sat on my underarms for 40 minutes.  I wasn't worried, I just figured that I was doing an extreme beginner treatment.  I got in the shower and washed it off.  I felt a bit tingly and raw.  I checked them out in the mirror when I got out and they were definitely a different color...PINK!  But still black.  I know that it will take months of treatment for them to lighten. Oh yeah I almost forgot!  I wanted to avoid using my trusty Arm & Hammer ladies deodorant as it contains aluminum and is probably contributing to my horrible situation.  So I went for the box of baking soda in the kitchen and applied some.  I am a pretty funky sweater and I sweat pretty profusely without my deodorant.  I did the baking soda as antiperspirant for two days.  I'm going to be totally honest, people.  I think my au natural approach to lighter pits is over!  haha!  So not only did I have painfully raw underarms but I was also a bit tart.  And that does not work for me.  Guess who will be purchasing her first tube of Xtreme Brite this week?!  YUP, ME.  I'll let everyone know how that works for me.  I have about 4 months to get my fugly pits in summer dress, pit exposing condition.
Operation Pretty Pits!!  You down wit' OPP?  Yeah, you know me!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Don't fuel the beast!

I like to think of myself as a pretty laid back person.  Most people who REALLY know me, know that I tend not to get too worked up over much.  I'm usually a "let the chips fall as they may" type of person.  Sure I bitch about work, EVERYDAY of my life.  I feel under compensated and under appreciated.  But really, who doesn't?  I complain about driving and people on the road, because I do have a road rage problem.  And sometimes the combo of a hellish day at work and the almost hour long, curse filled, bird flipping, commute home is enough to make me want to wrap my car around a telephone pole.  Nothing ever goes my way, I have to make more phone calls and send more emails to customer service for almost every utility and service I subscribe to.  (example:  When I was 5 months pregnant, I was pulled over for nothing on my way to work one day.  After giving the officer my license and registration, he comes back and tells me that he is very sorry but my car will have to be towed for lack of registration.  I said, No my car is definitely registered.  He asked if I possibly didn't pay my insurance and they cancelled my registration.  I told him no, the payment comes out of my checking account automatically every month, there must be some error.  He checks again and comes back and tells me the same thing.  So my car gets towed.  The nice officer gave me a ride to work in the back of his cruiser and dropped me off away from the front door as to not embarrass me.  So I get in and immediately get on the phone with Progressive, who I had changed over to about 4 months earlier.  Come to find out, since Progressive was new to Massachusetts, they didn't know they had to file a particular form with the DMV for my policy.  So since the DMV never received said form, they cancelled my registration.  I never received anything from the DMV saying the registration was cancelled.  Oh wait!!  In the mean time, while on the work phone with Progressive, my husband calls me to tell me that our checking account is overdrawn.  I said, it shouldn't be.  We had "x" amount in there yesterday.  He starts rattling off all of these charges.  I go online and check the account and find that someone has stolen my debit card number and went on a little shopping spree for clothes, shoes and even an membership.  So now I have NO damn money and my car was towed and I have no funds to get it out.  But before I can even worry about the money, I need Progressive to file whatever form with the DMV to reinstate my registration.  Then make calls to the bank to alert them of the fraudulent activity.  I ended up having to borrow money from my mother in law and taking time off from work, yadda yadda yadda.  No one would own up to being responsible, Progressive blamed the DMV and the DMV blamed Progressive and I got totally screwed.  I suppose if I had the energy I could've fought both the insurance company and the DMV, because they both screwed up.  And as I type this I am thinking that Progressive should've credited me for the 4 months of insurance I paid for but I obviously wasn't really covered.  But I had so much on my mind.  How were we going to survive with ZERO dollars until payday over a week away?  I was vigilantly watching my bank account for more fraudulent charges.  Making arrangements with my bills that are on auto pay, since I had no money to pay them.  It was a nightmare of a situation.  But seriously, this is how it typically goes for us, haha!  When it rains there is a shitstorm.   Even though I have the worst luck EVER, I am thankful for all that I have and I know that I have nothing to be pissy about.

I know from my many trials and tribulations throughout my life that the majority of stuff that stresses me out is usually nothing.  It is momentary stress.  Here now, gone later.  I have a very sarcastic sense of humor and I find comedy in almost everything.  I suppose I should be ashamed of some of the things I find hysterical, but like Popeye - I ams what I am.  Haha!  If I didn't laugh so much I would probably hurt someone.  I COMPLAIN - a lot, but it isn't really complaining.  It is simply ranting about things that I find absurd.  Maybe something to spark a little convo on Facebook with my fellow cynics.  Not anything that keeps me up at night stressing.  How is my tossing and turning all night long, losing sleep going to change something that happened earlier?  It's NOT!  In my opinion, if the things I have gone though in my life have not pushed me over the edge I'm pretty sure nothing will.  I have dealt with losing my father at the age of 7, other childhood trauma (I will not get into now or possibly ever), domestic violence, single parenthood, deranged deadbeat dad, cheating boyfriends, financial woes, botched surgery, depression, extended hospitalization (in another country away from my family), talks of possible amputation, lengthy rehabilitation, runaway troubled teen, blah blah...shall I go on?!  Anyway, I try my hardest to stay light about most things in life. I try not to get too worked up over anything negative.  I believe that when you react to negativity you are just fueling the beast.

I would be a lie if I told you I somehow magically deflect stressful situation from my life.  I do get mad.  Sometimes I am pretty sure steam shoots out of my ears and flames from my eye sockets.  But I don't let it ruin my entire day or life.  I have a pretty awesome skill of only directing my anger, hostility and/or bitchiness on those that caused the attitude to begin with.  I am perfectly normal with everyone else.  Why should they feel my wrath??  But in general, even the person who stressed me out will only see me stressed THAT day.  I refuse to dwell on the petty BS on my own time.  I have so little time with my family and even less to myself.  I'll be damned if I spend that time harboring ill feelings and emotions from some ass from earlier in the day.  As far as I am concerned, it's over and done with.  I'm not thinking about it anymore.  I am enjoying my time, right here in the now, and tomorrow is another day.

I do not have all the answers and I hope I don't come across as sounding like I think I do.  I just hear so many of my friends talk about how stressed they are all the time and most of them have very minimal things to be stressed about.  I know that everyone handles stress in their own way, but I often feel that their lives are a walk in the park in comparison to mine.  I just want to tell everyone to get over it.  Have a glass of wine, hug your kids, make love to your husband (great stress reliever!), write in a journal, call a friend, but most importantly GET OVER IT!!!  CHEER UP, BUTTERCUP, LIFE GOES ON AND TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER IF YOU ALLOW IT TO BE :)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Grow up, Facebookers!

I am a bit of a Facebook junkie.  I am pretty much logged in all day everyday - even if I am not actively doing anything in it.  I have found FB to be great for many reasons.  I have happily reconnected with many people, one of which was my neighbor when we were kids and we hadn't seen or heard from each other in over 20 years.  We amazingly picked up right where we left off all those years ago :) I have quickly sold a few unwanted items though FB that I had previously listed on Craigslist with no bites.  I keep my out of state family and friends up to date on the growth of my son through pics, videos and funny stories.  I learn about new music and see what artists friends are currently working on.... oh and I almost forgot, Words With Friends!!!  Enough said, right?!  haha!  I think that FB is wonderful.  But there are some things that people do on FB that befuddle me.

  1. Facebook balls.  I don't understand it.  I will share a (hopefully) quick story.  One day I received a friend request from this woman (who shall remain nameless).  When I saw the request, I was like, "Oh hell no" and immediately declined.  About two days later, I receive this mile long inbox message from her.  She basically told me in the email how she had been wanting to confront me for years but regrettably hadn't and she felt now that FB was the perfect platform for her to do so.  I won't get into what our cyber beef was about, but I will tell you that this beef (that I wasn't aware we even had) goes back over 15 years!  You're telling me that you have wanted to confront me about something you felt so passionate about for over 15 years but hadn't?  You knew where I worked, where I lived, even had my phone number but you felt that contacting me 15+ years later through a social media network best suited you.  Hmmm??  Don't get me wrong, I am not a fighter.  But I also don't believe in trying to threaten, belittle or bully someone behind the safety of your computer screen.  If you have something to say, say it - with your mouth to the person - oh and when it is relevant, haha!  
  2. Airing Dirty Laundry.  I have a few friends who put so much embarrassing, demeaning, personal information on Facebook.  WHY?!  "This dude thinks he can just treat me like sh%t.  I know what he did with my sister, so if he thinks I don't, here is a message for you (insert name here) - put your glasses on and read this!  I know what you did in MY bed with MY sister while I was at work."  Or "I found a crackpipe in my husband's sock drawer"  Facebook is not your therapist.  Facebook is not your friend.  Shoot, sadly most of the "friends" everyone has on FB aren't even your friends!  When you put this stuff out there for everyone to read most people are either: a.) amazed that you put yourself out there like that for everyone to see.  b.) laughing at you.  c.) being entertained by your soap opera and eagerly awaiting the next episode (which without fail always airs) d.) gossiping about what you just wrote or e.) all of the above.  I think that some of them post like this thinking that they are making the person who wronged them look bad, but they aren't.  Sure they sound like a real jerk for what they just put you through...but we ALLLLLLL know that he does this to you on a weekly basis and you clearly allow it.  Just stop!  Either shut up and deal with the fact that this is the life you choose to subject yourself to OR leave him and move on. Either way, stop posting about how terrible you ALLOW people to treat you.  It makes you look foolish and weak and you are just setting yourself up for other manipulators and abusers to do the same to you.  You are obviously tolerant of such behavior.  And if a loved one has a drug problem, don't share that with all 1275 of your closest friends!  C'mon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Of course I have the option not to read, but let's be honest, I can't NOT read it.  It's like a bad car crash, it's horrible.  You know you should turn away but you just can't tear your eyes away from it.  
  3. Confessions of crushes/love.  Facebook is not the place to tell the girl you had Chorus with in 7th grade that you were madly in love with her via inbox message.  What is she supposed to say to that?  "Um, oh I had no um, how about those Celtics, huh?!" Or better yet, when you are "actual real life" friends with someone and they tell you in a chat message their true feelings for you.  AWKWARD!  That's when you say "someone's at my door, brb.".... and never come back and totally avoid them for the rest of your life.
  4. Flirting with other people when you are in a relationship or married.  Just wrong and plain stupid.  Most adults (should) know that whatever happens on FB will be brought to light.  There is no privacy on Facebook.  I have watched people's relationships end over a raunchy comment on a risque pic of someone who was not their wife.  Or even more stupid; accidentally posting an inappropriate message meant for someone's inbox but posting to their wall and your spouse sees it (along with everyone else).  If you want to be with other people why are you in a relationship?  Do your mate a favor and just be honest.  Break up if necessary and then feel free to flirt, comment etc. with no worries.  Spare your significant other the embarrassment of the world knowing you don't respect them.
  5. ALL CAPS and bad grammar.  DER IZ NUTTIN MOR AGGY DEN C'ING A STS WIT ALLLLLLL CAPZ N DAM NERRR NOT 1 CORRCKLY SPELT WURD N NO PUNKUASION IN SITE U JUSS READ IT OVA N OVA TRYNA FIGHURE IT OUT LIK ITZ A PUZZLE A SUMTHIN.  Ok, I seriously can't take typing like that anymore, haha!  That took me like 20 minutes.  So annoying.  I went to school with these people.  I know that they have a somewhat better education than this.  Why are you typing like that?  I will just assume that your Caps lock button is broken, but what is the excuse for spelling like that??  Is that cool?  Is that what the cool kids are doing??  STOP IT! (Yup, that was all caps!)
It's time for these people to grow up.  Use Facebook a little more intelligently.  Think about what you think when your friends post like this and make a vow to yourself to never do it.  Have fun, but use your head, folks.


Saturday, January 7, 2012

Plus Size style tips

Once upon a time, I was a svelte little thing.  I could go into any store and buy any article of clothing off of any rack.  I had no problems finding the latest fashions in my size.  I had the luxury of being picky with my selections.  I knew if one store didn't have something I absolutely loved I could just got to any other store in the mall and they would have something in my size that I adored.  I had a closet jam packed with trendy attire.  I often never wore an outfit more than a couple times a year, simply because I never kept up with laundry.  Even once it got washed, it would sit in laundry baskets in my laundry room - just waiting to be put away.  But it was never an issue, because I would just wear one of my other thousand outfits or just go out and buy myself more!

Well - those days are O-V-E-R!  I am overweight and I am plus size.  BIG MAMMA!  I stay away from the mall these days, because along with my mall rage (yes, that is similar to road rage, just not in a car), there just aren't many options at the mall for big girls.  Macy's, JC Penny, and Filenes all have plus sections, but they are very limited and usually very ugly.  Evidently, they feel that if you are chubby you must want to dress like a grandma.  I personally don't like Lane Bryant.  I mean, when you look at their clothes online and even on the rack, they look fashionable and all, but NOTHING in there fits me.  Maybe I have a weird body, I don't know.  But I've found that Lane Bryant apparently feels that if you are plus size that you must also be pushing 7 feet tall.  Even their "short" jeans are damn near a boob covering unitard on me.  I am on the shorter side at 5'4 - but come on.  They just aren't proportioned right.  The crotch should not be able to be pulled up so high that I can get the waist to rest on my tatas (and not hurt my lady business in the process).  In my early years of being a fatty, I found one pair of jeans at LB that was semi tolerable.  They were too long in the leg, so I had to cut the 6 inches of excess material off, but the crotch to waist ratio was pretty on point.  The main problem that I had with these jeans was that the waist was way too big.  I had to double the waist over in the back and put my belt on extra tight so that the world couldn't see my whole ass crack when ever I bent or sat down.  (Yeah, I'm part of this rare breed of females that doesn't like her ass crack on display, I know I'm weird.)  Anyway, even with these major flaws, these crappy ass jeans became my favorite pair.  How is that possible, you ask??  Well, when you spend hour after aggravating hour stomping around the mall and spending $45.00 for a pair of jeans that you can get over your ass and don't double as a full body denim bra, you just settle.  I believed that this is just how it is for me now that I am heavy.  This is as good as it gets.  For years I felt that way.  Then I gained more weight, one day I was trying to shove myself into my "favorite" jeans and when pulling them up, I used the belt loops for extra tug and I ripped them off!  haha!  These belt loops were essential to these jeans as I needed them to keep my bum from being exposed through the gaping pucker at the waist.  What was I to do?  I went back to LB to try and get my hands on another pair of these "perfect" ill fitting jeans.  After searching all over the store for them, a sales woman tells me that this style of LB jean had been discontinued.  WTF.  My only assumption was that all of the giants wrote and complained to LB that the minuscule crotch to waist ratio was a problem for them and LB complied with their demands and stopped making them.

My desperation led me to Walmart, Target, Marshalls, TJ Maxx and occasionally Old Navy.  Which surprisingly were all more "shorter plus size woman" friendly.  Target is more hit or miss, but I have found a few pairs of work pants there that actually fit me, with no alterations (on clearance at that).  This is when I realized that just because you are plus size that does not mean that your clothing should be ill fitting.  I decided to scour the web and see what I could find online.  I felt this was a risky move because I couldn't try the clothing on beforehand.  But in my experience, most places allow you to return for free if need be. actually has some REALLY good fitting jeans.  I was totally surprised.  A friend had told me about their new line of Curve ID jeans.  I was super excited.  I went on their site and unfortunately after taking their whole "FIND YOUR CURVE" survey, I found that I am considered a "Supreme Curve" but they didn't have those jeans in my size.  GRRRRRRRR. Ho hum... guess I am an Ultra Mega Curvy.  BUT they do have a plus size section and I have purchased a few pairs of jeans that fit GREAT!  I also found a few pairs of these same jeans at AJ Wright when they were going out of business for under $10.00. has AWESOME clothes!!  They have all sizes! And pretty much whatever you see in itty bitty sizes they have in plus size as well.  But please be aware, that just because something is made in your size, that does not mean it will look fab on you.  So make sure that you purchase what will compliment your figure. Dorothy Perkins is in the UK, so shipping is a little higher.  But they often have great sales and occasionally offer free shipping to the US. is another site I like.  I actually have not purchased anything from them, but I often pa-rouse their site and I see that they have a lot of trendy wear to offer plus size ladies. is a plus size line put out by the Limited.  I actually just stumbled upon this one today.  I cannot vouch for fit or timely delivery, haha!  But I like a lot of what I see on their site.  I also like that there is a shop by shape option.  You pick your body type and it will show you everything that will compliment your figure.  That is awesome!!

Here are some tips for the plus size woman:
  • Wear clothing that accentuates what you love and masks what you don't.
  • Avoid overly tight clothing - it is uncomfortable and unattractive.  It puts all of your dents, dimples and rolls on display and makes you look sloppy.
  • Avoid overly baggy clothing - it makes you look like you hate being a woman!  It is unattractive and makes you look heavier than you really are.  You have curves, that is a good thing.  Be proud that you are a woman and show off your curves in a classy not trashy way.
  • Wear underwear that FIT, people!  We all want to wear the cute little sexy panties, but let's face it, unless you want to be digging them out of your ass - that WILL be eating your undies all day, save those for the bedroom.  
  • Get fitted for a bra.  80% of American women wear the wrong size bra.  EIGHTY PERCENT!!   A correctly fitting bra makes a world of difference, not only in the way you feel but in the way you look and carry yourself.  
  • Cleavage is nice but c'mon ladies LESS is more!  Cover them bad Larries up a bit unless you want them on and popping for that special occasion or for your significant other.  Do NOT go to work with your ladies on display.  It is not a good look unless of course, you work in an environment where that is how you make your money, well then by all means, set the girls free and invite everyone to gawk
  • Accessorize!  Earrings, belts, necklaces, rings, scarves, shoes, boots, purses - you name it.  Accessories should compliment your ensemble, not take it over - so go easy on the number of accessories worn at one time.  Don't go overboard because that will look tacky.  
  • Wear one solid color from top to bottom - the effect is very slimming.  Add some color or sparkle with accessories, like a pair of big bold earrings, bracelets and some funky bright colored heels.
  • Wear simple patterns.  Think vertical stripes (never horizontal = wide).  
  • Do NOT wear animal prints unless on accessories.  Cheetah print clutch, bracelet or pumps, HOT!  Cheetah pants stretched across thunder thighs and lard ass, NOT! 
  • Learn what fabrics look nice on you.  Every fabric has a different drape.  I have read some plus size tips from "experts" and they say spandex is a good choice for plus size.  Um...I am no expert, but I will tell you the truth.  DO NOT WEAR ANY DAMN SPANDEX!  Big girls and spandex = a recipe for disaster!
  • If you have a bigger belly Do NOT wear low rise jeans, these just give you a very pronounced muffin top.  Try a higher waist jean that will conceal your belly. - Not "MOM jeans" but a mid rise.
  • EMPIRE WAIST LINES!!!!!!!!!!!!  In everything!  Dress and tops!  Never fails to create a leaner looking body!!  (see pics below)
  • A properly worn belt! (see pics below)
  • Most important, take the time to find what fits YOU.  The number on the inside of your pants, dress or shirt doesNOT matter.  You may wear an 16 in one pair of pants and a 20 in another.  It doesn't mean a damn thing.  The fit is what matters.   
This dress is very slimming due to the empire waist, but notice how adding the belt (pic2) creates an even more slimming effect.  It creates the illusion that your waist is much smaller, showing off bust and hips creating a sleeker sexier silhouette.

A belt worn high on an empire waistline will accentuate the bust line and draw the eye away from problem areas like a bigger tummy and hips. Pulling it up higher creates the illusion of a slim waistline which will lend to a nice curvaceous silhouette. Use a belt with an empire waist dress or skirt and shirt or over a tunic.

    Tuesday, January 3, 2012

    Spreading a little Blogger love

    A friend of mine recently started her own blog called Fabulously Frugal and I love it!  So I wanted to give her a quick shout out (Heyyyyyyyy Aris!) and leave a link to her site here.  She blogs about being fabulous on a budget.  Lots of tips on hair, makeup, shoes and anything else, well...fabulous.  Oh and recipes!  YUM!

    One of her first posts was about how her son loses or breaks his glasses all the time. She gave us the scoop on this great site called Zenni Optical. I placed my first order with them last week.  I bought two pairs of prescription glasses for my daughter for a total of $24.99 - that included shipping!  I will give my full review once we receive the order.

    She is always gorgeous and she is a great cook, so check it out and you too can be FABULOUSLY FRUGAL!